Bullying among children is a serious problem that is far too often written off as a rite of passage, or as "kids being kids." It is, however, a very dangerous form of aggression that causes injuries, fear, embarrassment, reduced self-esteem, and depression in the victim. From the slide to the swing sets, studies have shown that bullying occurs on the playground as often as every seven minutes. Some playground features, such as the Buddy Bench, are designed to offer some relief to bullying and instead bring kids together. In the classroom, a child is bullied every 25 minutes. Even the Internet has turned into an instrument of aggression in the form of cyberbullying, which can take place at any time, day or night. Whether it occurs on the playground swings, in the classroom, or online, bullying can become so severe that some children may avoid going to school out of fear or embarrassment. In the most extreme cases, children have even committed suicide as a means to escape it. Despite its severity, little is done to put a stop it when it takes place. According to the National School Climate Center, 85 percent of the time, there is no intervention from either other children or adults. Parents who understand bullying and the effect that it has on kids can make strides to prevent it from occurring.
When a person repeatedly and intentionally sets out to injure, traumatize, or demoralize another person, they are considered a bully. Hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing, and other forms of aggressive physical contact are actions that are most recognizable as the actions of a bully. In addition, a bully may use words to embarrass or threaten their victim. Courtesy of the Internet and cellphones, written words in the form of text messages or posts on social networking sites may also be used to intimidate others. In some instances, neither words nor physical contact is needed. The Internet may be used to spread embarrassing images or videos to classmates, or passive-aggressive tactics such as silence may be employed.
Because children often do not tell their parents that they are victims of bullying, it is important that parents pay attention to any potential signs. This may not be as simple as it seems as signs of bullying are varied, with some more obvious than others. Bruises are the most obvious and visible indications that a child is the victim of a bully. For this reason, parents should both look for and question the presence of bruises. In addition to bruises, bullied children may have ripped clothing and also claim to lose lunch money or other belongings. A child who becomes moody, less talkative, isolated, or begins to have frequent emotional outbursts may also be suffering at the hands of a bully. Oversleeping, an inability to sleep, or recurring nightmares all indicate some potential form of emotional distress. Because kids will want to avoid the bully or bullies as much as possible, they may suddenly claim illnesses that are difficult to verify in order to avoid going to school.
If a child is the victim of bullying, their parent will want to put a stop to it as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, kids often do not tell that they are being bullied, and when they do, it is with difficulty. For this reason, parents will want to be supportive and comforting when discussing the topic. Parents who suspect bullying should sit down with their children and ask if there are any problems that the child wants to share. When a child voluntarily tells their parents about being bullied, it is critical that it is not marginalized or treated as unimportant. The more accepting and willing parents are to listen to their children, the more comfortable their children will feel talking to them. It is important that parents get as much information about the bullying as possible. They will want to know who the bully is, how their child is being bullied and how frequently, and what the school has done to stop it. The next step is to discuss ways to avoid the bully, such as never being alone, being more assertive, or ignoring the bully. Parents will also need to speak with their child's teachers or school administrator about the incident and what can be done to stop the behavior. At no point, however, should parents approach the bully directly. Speaking to the bully's parents may be necessary if the school is unable to stop it. Another option is to check out the state's anti-bullying laws, particularly when violence or embarrassing pictures or videos are involved, as legal action may be necessary.
Find more about the author: Kim Hart
